Nick Appears Again on RootzLive!

So this whole being unexpectedly unemployed has one perk, it got me a 2nd time doing RootzLive! which is an awesome show to be on.  Scotty Brown has asked me a few times since the episode with the OMG!Droid crew to come on again, but working the late shift with my now previous employer obviously complicated that.

But yeah, schedule cleared up and I got to go on with Adam Fisch from AOKP and talk about the new line of Nexus devices coming out.  One request...can we next time NOT put me on WITH A FUCKING DEV.  Holy shit do you know how stressful to go on and talking devices with one of those dudes and hold your ground, especially one from AOKP?  Kudos to those guys, as they do a hell of a job with that ROM.  

All in all, it went well and I sounded like I had half a clue as to what I was talking about.  Fuck yeah!

Next time can we cover something easy to lighten the stress on me?  Thanks guys!

Damn You FedEx!

So part of my job at OMG!Droid is whoring myself out to vendors to get test products sent in to us.  From there, we tear it apart, break it, review it, and then normally give it away after (I know, it's odd to give away products we abuse).

Regardless, this is a good part of my job, and so well it's been going good.  I've gotten feedback from a number of various vendors, and requests are getting put in.  So I've got one that shipped out right around the end of August.  I figured probably within around 5 days or so, float an extra day or two because of the holiday, and I should have it in hand.  Yeah no, not so much.  According to FedEx, they left it at my door on August 30th.  The only thing that's arrived at my door in the last 2 weeks is a phone book.  They still make those?

My conclusion is a toss-up between two options at this point:

1. The FedEx driver decided to pull a cruel prank by using magic to turn a box with 2 phone cases into a phone book just to piss me off (which is working btw).
2. FedEx has no idea where the fuck the driver left the package, and he's a fucking moron.

I'll safely bet on option 2.  So here I am, one phone call in and numerous no reply tweets which have lead me to waiting on a trace ticket to figure out where the driver left it.  Let's hope this is located soon, although it's not like I have a business to help run.

After this situation today, I'm glad another shipment I have going via FedEx I was able to order to be held at the local station and avoid the driver all together.  I'm gonna go look at boobies online now.

Oh, and a couple of side notes.  Thank you CyanogenMod for adding the SMS quick reply in the notification bar.  It makes me happy.  And AOKP, hurry the fuck up with the toroplus nightlies!!!

Here's something for now to make me happy again.  Thanks Colie Jacks!

This song about describes me perfectly at times with as popular as I seem to have gotten.

Nick Rolls Into RootzLive, Hilarity Ensues

If you have an Android phone and half a functional fucking brain, then you probably have heard of RootzWiki and their RootzLive show.  If you haven't, you're screwing up your life.

I've been fortunate to get the place I have so far in the Android community and to meet some really fn cool people.  One of which being Scotty Brown who works for CruzerLite and RootzWiki.  We've traded shots and goofed off on numerous occasions, and he provided a hell of a show on the 1yr anniversary for OMG!Droid.  Cliff will never be the same after that show.

So anyways, Scotty asked us to bring some of the crew from the site to do RootzLive.  Fuck yes!!  I'm sure most people were already aware of the episode since we've been spamming the shit out of it, but fk it!  If you missed it, the YouTube is linked below.  Big thanks to OMG!Droid, Scotty Brown, and RootzWiki.

OMG!Droid TV Episode 2 Is Posted (ft. me of course)

So for those who didn't know yet, I now write for OMG!Droid cause I'm awesome, and they had to recruit me.  Obviously a wise choice by them.  We've got a weekly show going and we just wrapped up tonight's show....ya know...the one I plugged on Twitter earlier.  Go have a listen and get educated if you're an Android user.  If you love your iPhone, get converted to a real phone :D

Nick vs The City of Dallas #TXtweetup

I love going to Dallas.  I also love being drunk off my ass in Dallas.  Some may see it as a cause for concern, but I'm quite content with this situation.  The Texas Tweetup was no exception....

Back in January I had the brilliant idea of having a tweetup here.  The idea was brilliant.  Hit up a lot of people from around the state I'm cool with, get them all in one place, and act like a complete fucking idiot.  It works since most of them are not surprised with my antics.

I apologize in advance that there weren't a ton of pics taken during the weekend.  My ADD kicked in and I was too busy being distracted by a lot of dumb shit.

There's one thing I noticed over the weekend I didn't realize before.....this city has a fucking TON of condom stores!  In a city this big, do you people not have anything else better to do as a hobby than fuck like rabbits???

Random stop to eat at Freebirds by me and Kevin, and I run across a midget!!!  Yes, I have an odd thing for midgets.  I want one as a pet.  I'm completely willing to pay the pet deposit and build a full kennel.  Be jealous, I will have one at some point.

This little bastid in particular was great.  He claims he's a lawyer, and was a total DICK to all the employees.  I gotta find him again one day and party with him.  Can you imagine this guy in action in a courtroom?

Below is a shot from one of the rooms we had which gave a nice view of the Honda bike shop next to us.  

As I was online back in January planning what hotel to pick, there was one feature that was CRITICAL.  I had to have something with a continental breakfast for the free waffles.  They are fucking AWESOME.  It got mentioned once while planning this, and became an absolute requirement.  I'm still amazed that I woke up at 930am to make it downstairs in time for this shit.

Tweetup Fun Fact: Kevin is a champ at locking himself out of his room.  And he'll probably cock punch me for posting this.  We had adjoining rooms that had that door in between them.  Fucking convenient for when we were hanging out and wanted to be lazy.  So we decide to make a run downstairs to smoke.  Go back up, and his room key won't work.  Thinking maybe it's just a bad key (he grabbed the spare they gave instead of the first he used which worked fine) he goes back downstairs to get a working key.  I go in my room to watch TV while this is going on expecting him to be back in my room in a few.  Two commercial breaks later he isn't back so I'm starting to wonder where the fuck he went.  As soon as I get off the elevator I hear him talking to the guest services guy and dude says "I guess your friend didn't care enough to check on ya and make sure you're ok."  My instant response as they turn the corner "nah, that's too much fucking work for this fool."  The guest services guy cracks up.  This dude is cool as shit.

Turns out Kevin locked the deadbolt on his door and didn't realize it when we got back.  The middle door shut behind us, so he got totally locked out of the room when we returned.  Turns out the services guy had to break out some glass security shield like it's some fucking fire alarm he had to pull to get the master keys to unlock the deadbolt.  According to him this is the first time in all the years he's worked there that anyone has ever done that.  I guess that made us famous?  Too bad we didn't get a fucking trophy for it.  The guy just kept laughing.  Fucking asshole...he's still cool though.

And yes, Kevin locked himself out a second time.  He had the key card in his wallet and forgot to grab it when we went down to smoke.  And again, they didn't mind making him ANOTHER card.  Total key cards he had over the weekend I believe was 4.

Just to clarify, fish is fish, and not steak.  This being said, I have never heard of it being cooked like a steak with options like medium-well, medium-rare, etc.  Nor have I ever been asked if I have a preference.  It's a dead fish, you cook it all the damn way through.  This however isn't the case with Dave & Buster's apparently, depending on who you ask.  Annette ordered blackened salmon which on the outside looked fine.  Open taking a few bites and opening the shit up, turns out it was drastically undercooked on the inside.  She tells the waitress, waitress apologizes and said she's never seen that happen before.  Everything is cool and it gets taken back to get corrected.  One of the managers comes out and in a confused manner wants it clarified that Annette DID NOT want it cooked medium rare.  According to him, this is standard cooking style for them on fish.  WHAT....THE.....FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?

I've never been to a fucking place that cooked it like that, or even presented this as an option.  Hell your own employees don't even seem to know this is some protocol.  After some confusion and strange looks from the manager, and numerous reassurances from us on how it needs to be cooked and that he's a jackass, the fish was finally done right.

I don't remember what the fuck the name of this shit I ordered was, but it was fucking good.

So anyways, here's some random pics from the tweetup while we were at our table hanging out, and then in the Midway playing video games while we were drunk.

On a side note, if you're going up there with a party, call way the fuck in advance and reserve seating.  We normally would have done that but we didn't know exactly how many would be there and once you hit a certain number they want deposits and shit.  We basically just said fuck it to that and did a walk in.  Turns out Saturday night was popular for the WHOLE FUCKING CITY because there were four parties of 20 ahead of us, along with a few of 6 and 8 as well.  Are you kidding me?!!?!?!?  We got in at 7pm and got on the list, found some tables to take over and hang out at around the bar.  After a while we said fuck it and ordered our food while hanging out since we were still waiting.  It was something like 10pm when they finally called us.  By that time we were finishing eating.  I was too drunk to care by then and forgot about the list completely.

This dude and his wife we're PIMP!

DWI anyone?

 Ok so she might be right.....I mean they say you're not supposed to use the wall as a brake while driving....

Another side note.  We spent almost 4 hours in the Midway playing games.  There was this one creepy pedobear fucker that was on the Dance Dance Revolution machine and was going nuts on it.  Dude even brought his own damn sweat towel for it.  He was on that fucking DDR machine the majority of the time we were back there, and no telling how long prior.  A fucking grown ass man.

Apparently Annette and Mary were plotting to try and get me and Kevin to do that DDR shit.  There will NEVER be enough alcohol for that to happen.

Double rum and coke ALL FUCKING NIGHT!

I had to get this pic.  I was talking to Kevin and turned to find a bartender.  Next thing I know, Dan huge a fucking fro growing from his head.

This old guy had some of the most awesome shorts ever.  Even Kevin got a little jealous of them.  Poor guy doesn't know how close he was to being robbed in the middle of a Kroger.

I want to thank this time to thank the awesome hotel staff at the Marriott for not getting mad at drunk me for staggering around their lobby that night.  You guys rock!!  And thanks to Nikki for helping me out on the hotel booking considering I had no clue what the fuck I was doing.

Say What?

So for my day job, I work a kind of hybrid customer service job for a cell phone company.  I call it hybrid because we don't get the luxury of just a one department, one job role kind of gig.  We are cross skilled to do a lot of EVERYTHING.  Care, tech support, finance and payments, etc.  With any job taking customer calls all day, we get bitched out by total fuckwad idiots daily.  In my job, we get the task of getting cussed out by ALL the fuckwad idiots.  This is normal, and we learn to live with it.  People seem to grow a large set of balls when they're on the phone and don't have to see you person to person, and they rarely stop and think about the stupid shit they blab out before they say it.  It's a job of frequent stupidity, and rare remorse.

Today for example.....
Dude calls about his step daughters phone fucking up for like 6 months.  She just moved in with them recently and is constantly complaining about it locking up, having to have the battery pulled regularly, and the display going blank.  None of this is abnormal really.  It's a low end Samsung Android phone, and those guys suck balls at making software.  Lock ups and the like are pretty common.  The screen blanking did however get my attention.

So anyways, step dad feels obligated to defend the little twerps honor against the evil corporate machine that we are and get her phone replaced!!

Blah blah, 6 months it doesn't work, blah blah give me credits, blah blah blah *ignore anything I say about actually fixing the phone itself and go back to screaming for credits and how we're evil*.  I'll give the guy credit, he went on a customer service rant that he tried to guilt me on that was quite impressive.  It even hit the point of him asking for the names of all the executive board members of our company so he could write them about the horrible service and all the reps that refused to replace the phone over the last 6 months.  And for the record, I have no idea who those guys are which didn't make him happy.  Why would I care who they are?

So anyways, I finally somewhat calm down our ranting little douchebag.  Best option is to make a repair ticket, document all the shit fucking up and preventing her from sending nudes to whatever 2 week boyfriend she has, and get him the fuck to the repair store and off my phone.  Simple, right?

Not so much.  As soon as I go to start the repair ticket, I'm amusingly welcomed by a flag on the line for damaged beyond repair.  This folks is that happy note that means a tech at some point looked at the phone, found out that YOU fucked up and broke shit, and it's not covered under warranty.  This changes things.  This means you get to do that glorious insurance claim cause your idiot step daughter broke it herself.

Now, normally in a situation like this, the first thing they do is blame us.  How the fuck we are the one's who broke the phone I'll never know, but it's the normal reaction.  It's great how no one takes responsibility for their own fuck up.  However, to my astonishment, this wasn't the case.  I'm still in fucking shock over what happened next.

Customer: It's what?

Me: Damaged beyond repair man.  Not covered by manufacturer warranty.  Could be anything like something spilled on it or she broke something inside of it.

Customer: She didn't tell me this......

Me: Sorry guy, that's the problem.  If not for that, they would have just replaced the thing and called it a day.  Might wanna chit chat with her on that one.....

Customer: Son of a........*insert awkward pause here where I thought he would start screaming like a lunatic*..........I'm sorry.

Me:  You what?  Come again?  *there's no fucking way i just heard him say that shit*

Customer:  I'm sorry.  I've been a dick this whole time and she didn't tell me that.

Me:  So uhhhhhh.....still want me to cancel that line since we can't replace it or you wanna do the insurance stuff?  *gulp*

At this point I'm still preparing myself, and the volume button, for a complete hysterical tirade.  This is something that DOES HAPPEN at this point.  Sometimes they just have to build up to it like some great finale.

Customer:  Leave it.  My apologies for everything.  I'm an asshole.

Me:  No worries, we're straight.  Sucks to be her though.....

The call was done, yet I'm still sitting there with a stunned look on my face and my trigger finger still on the volume down key even though there's no one on the other end.  Fucking SHOCKED.  Even my coworkers were stunned at the story I shared.

Who the fuck are you????  You CAN"T be one of our customers!!!!!

This one made my damn day.

Fucking with Samsung chat support

Yes, I got bored again.  I wanted to know when Samsung planned on releasing Android 2.3 for my phone, so I hit up the Samsung chat support team for some info.  Unfortunately I didn't get the first chat copied with Stella which was mildly entertaining, so I decided to go for round 2 for humor.  Enjoy!

 Please wait for a Samsung Agent to respond.

 You are now chatting with 'Vick'. There will be a brief survey at the end of our chat to share feedback on my performance today.

 Your Issue ID for this chat is LTK4380747712X

Vick: Hi, thank you for contacting Samsung Technical Support. How may I help you today?

Visitor: Hi Vick....how are you?

Visitor: Your first name isn't Michael is it?

Vick: Hi, I'm fine.  

Vick: Please go ahead with your question regarding your Samsung mobile phone.

Visitor: Ok, awkward. Anyways.....

Visitor: You're familiar with the Samsung Epic 4G I'm assuming?

Vick: I'm sorry, we are not authorized to share our personal information.

Vick: Yes. Please go ahead with your question regarding EPIC?

Visitor: Ok, here's the deal. I want the 2.3 update.

Visitor: I mean WANT it. Real bad...like a fat kid eyeballing a cake.

Visitor: You can see my level of desperation right?

Vick: I understand that you would like to know the information regarding the Android 2.3 upgrade on the handset, am I correct ?

Visitor: Well yes, as it would be socially unacceptable to put it in my pants as opposed to my phone :D

Visitor: Now here's the problem.....

Visitor: You guys haven't rolled it out yet, which makes me sad.

Visitor: Being a grown man and crying over a phone update doesn't get me many dates.

Vick: Thank you for confirming.

Visitor: I'm guessing you've never done this, so you may not be able to relate.

Vick: I apologize for the inconvenience.

Visitor: Now what I need to know, is when is Samsung releasing this to Sprint, then to us so I'm a happy fat kid with my cake.

Visitor: Errrr.....gingerbread in this case.

Vick: I'm sorry. Unfortunately, as of now there is no official information on the release date of the Android 2.3/Gingerbread from Samsung and you will be notified by the carrier and in the Samsung website when/if the update is released. We are unable to speculate when/if a software revision might be available due to the fact that this might lead to inaccurate information and confusion.

Visitor: Ok, here's my next question.....

Visitor: You have 2.3 out for the Nexus S 4G, which is basically the same exact thing as the Epic.

Visitor: So why not just roll it on out.

Vick: Sure. Please go ahead.

Visitor: Make us all happy :D

Visitor: I want to do cartwheels in my excitement Vick......help me, help you with my cartwheels.

Vick: Please accept my sincere apologizes, I would have surely helped you if I had the information.

Visitor: Do you not find it wrong that they would taunt is with it on one phone, but not the other?

Vick: Should this become available, it will be posted on our website in the Samsung Download Center.

Visitor: I'm smelling the frosting on the cake, and I can't grab it.....

Visitor: Ok, let's make a deal. I have an idea.

Visitor: I'll make you a Gingerbread cookie and mail it to you there. You lovingly roll it up in a nice APK file and shoot it over to my phone with the love in your heart.

Visitor: How does that sound?

Visitor: I'll even make an extra Gingerbread cookie for you to enjoy.

Visitor: You do like Gingerbread cookies right?

Visitor: I'll cut them out to look like 2 dogs fighting Vick.....

Visitor: Or maybe even a falcon or an eagle.

Visitor: Caw!! Caw!!

Visitor: See....bird sounds.

Visitor: I'm trying to work with you here.

Visitor: Vick?

Vick: I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.

Visitor: What about my offer.

Visitor: This isn't an inconvenience. Inconvenience is realizing your girlfriend bought large condoms when you only fit a medium.

Visitor: So are we going to be left out in the cold, staring through the window in desperation while the happy kids play with Gingerbread?

Vick: Please be professional to continue the chat.

Vick: I would be forced to close the chat, if you use continue using profanity.

Vick: Just to confirm, do you have any technical questions for me?

Visitor: You're right.....I'm sorry. Mentioning a girlfriend is vulgar.

Visitor: Yes, I'm still wondering what I'm supposed to do about my super phone.

Visitor: Your ads stated this as the best phone on the market, but I can't get Gingerbread :(

Visitor: See....sad face.

Vick: I'm sorry. As referred there is no information regarding the same.

Visitor: Regarding Gingerbread or my girlfriend who doesn't measure first?

Visitor: I mean I told her it was cold outside....

Vick: Do you have any technical questions on Samsung Mobile devices?

Visitor: Yes, when is 2.3 being released? I heard it's awesome!!!!!

Vick: I am sorry, we do not have information on the release date  of Android 2.3.

Vick: Once it  is released it will be posted on website.

Visitor: I'm sad. Can I have a hug? :(

Vick: As it is going to be new and latest version, you can enjoy the features of Android 2.3

Visitor: Ok so you are releasing it!!!! When should I expect it for my Epic!?!?!?!?!?

Vick: There is on specific release date for the update. Should this become available, it will be posted on our website in the Samsung Download Center.

Visitor: *knock knock*

Visitor: No wait, no should it become available.

Visitor: You just promised me I'd be able to Vick.

Visitor: Now you're sounding sketchy

Vick: Yes. You may install the update when it is released.

Visitor: So you're promising me with all certainty that you will roll out 2.3 for the Epic?

Visitor: And if I have to call Mr Sansungasaki he can vouch for this......

Visitor: Pinky promise me it will be released Vick.

Visitor: Pinky promise me for all the hungry kids in Ethipoia.

Vick: I'm sorry. I see that the update might be released to install and use on your phone.

Visitor: We just went from will be to might be.

Visitor: Vick you're tryin to circle jerk me here....

Visitor: I even offered to bake you a cookie.

Vick: As referred earlier, as of now there is no official information on the release date of the Android 2.3/Gingerbread from Samsung.

Visitor: But you just told me I will be able to enjoy the awesomesauce features, and now you're being an indian giver.

Vick: I apologize for the confusion. We are unable to speculate when/if a software revision might be available due to the fact that this might lead to inaccurate information and confusion.

Visitor: Vick, I hate you now. You've broken my heart, and I take back my offer on the cookie.

Vick: I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.

Vick: Please accept my sincere apologizes, I would have surely helped you if I had the information.

Visitor: You've broken my heart. How do you plan on fixing that?????

Visitor: Is this how you treat everyone? Get their hopes up, then shove them away?

Vick: I'm sorry. Do you have any technical questions for me?

Visitor: Yes, can I have your girlfriend in exchange for the Gingerbread update?

Visitor: That would be a fair trade.

 Chat session has been terminated by the Samsung Agent.