Fucking with Samsung chat support

Yes, I got bored again.  I wanted to know when Samsung planned on releasing Android 2.3 for my phone, so I hit up the Samsung chat support team for some info.  Unfortunately I didn't get the first chat copied with Stella which was mildly entertaining, so I decided to go for round 2 for humor.  Enjoy!

 Please wait for a Samsung Agent to respond.

 You are now chatting with 'Vick'. There will be a brief survey at the end of our chat to share feedback on my performance today.

 Your Issue ID for this chat is LTK4380747712X

Vick: Hi, thank you for contacting Samsung Technical Support. How may I help you today?

Visitor: Hi Vick....how are you?

Visitor: Your first name isn't Michael is it?

Vick: Hi, I'm fine.  

Vick: Please go ahead with your question regarding your Samsung mobile phone.

Visitor: Ok, awkward. Anyways.....

Visitor: You're familiar with the Samsung Epic 4G I'm assuming?

Vick: I'm sorry, we are not authorized to share our personal information.

Vick: Yes. Please go ahead with your question regarding EPIC?

Visitor: Ok, here's the deal. I want the 2.3 update.

Visitor: I mean WANT it. Real bad...like a fat kid eyeballing a cake.

Visitor: You can see my level of desperation right?

Vick: I understand that you would like to know the information regarding the Android 2.3 upgrade on the handset, am I correct ?

Visitor: Well yes, as it would be socially unacceptable to put it in my pants as opposed to my phone :D

Visitor: Now here's the problem.....

Visitor: You guys haven't rolled it out yet, which makes me sad.

Visitor: Being a grown man and crying over a phone update doesn't get me many dates.

Vick: Thank you for confirming.

Visitor: I'm guessing you've never done this, so you may not be able to relate.

Vick: I apologize for the inconvenience.

Visitor: Now what I need to know, is when is Samsung releasing this to Sprint, then to us so I'm a happy fat kid with my cake.

Visitor: Errrr.....gingerbread in this case.

Vick: I'm sorry. Unfortunately, as of now there is no official information on the release date of the Android 2.3/Gingerbread from Samsung and you will be notified by the carrier and in the Samsung website when/if the update is released. We are unable to speculate when/if a software revision might be available due to the fact that this might lead to inaccurate information and confusion.

Visitor: Ok, here's my next question.....

Visitor: You have 2.3 out for the Nexus S 4G, which is basically the same exact thing as the Epic.

Visitor: So why not just roll it on out.

Vick: Sure. Please go ahead.

Visitor: Make us all happy :D

Visitor: I want to do cartwheels in my excitement Vick......help me, help you with my cartwheels.

Vick: Please accept my sincere apologizes, I would have surely helped you if I had the information.

Visitor: Do you not find it wrong that they would taunt is with it on one phone, but not the other?

Vick: Should this become available, it will be posted on our website in the Samsung Download Center.

Visitor: I'm smelling the frosting on the cake, and I can't grab it.....

Visitor: Ok, let's make a deal. I have an idea.

Visitor: I'll make you a Gingerbread cookie and mail it to you there. You lovingly roll it up in a nice APK file and shoot it over to my phone with the love in your heart.

Visitor: How does that sound?

Visitor: I'll even make an extra Gingerbread cookie for you to enjoy.

Visitor: You do like Gingerbread cookies right?

Visitor: I'll cut them out to look like 2 dogs fighting Vick.....

Visitor: Or maybe even a falcon or an eagle.

Visitor: Caw!! Caw!!

Visitor: See....bird sounds.

Visitor: I'm trying to work with you here.

Visitor: Vick?

Vick: I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.

Visitor: What about my offer.

Visitor: This isn't an inconvenience. Inconvenience is realizing your girlfriend bought large condoms when you only fit a medium.

Visitor: So are we going to be left out in the cold, staring through the window in desperation while the happy kids play with Gingerbread?

Vick: Please be professional to continue the chat.

Vick: I would be forced to close the chat, if you use continue using profanity.

Vick: Just to confirm, do you have any technical questions for me?

Visitor: You're right.....I'm sorry. Mentioning a girlfriend is vulgar.

Visitor: Yes, I'm still wondering what I'm supposed to do about my super phone.

Visitor: Your ads stated this as the best phone on the market, but I can't get Gingerbread :(

Visitor: See....sad face.

Vick: I'm sorry. As referred there is no information regarding the same.

Visitor: Regarding Gingerbread or my girlfriend who doesn't measure first?

Visitor: I mean I told her it was cold outside....

Vick: Do you have any technical questions on Samsung Mobile devices?

Visitor: Yes, when is 2.3 being released? I heard it's awesome!!!!!

Vick: I am sorry, we do not have information on the release date  of Android 2.3.

Vick: Once it  is released it will be posted on website.

Visitor: I'm sad. Can I have a hug? :(

Vick: As it is going to be new and latest version, you can enjoy the features of Android 2.3

Visitor: Ok so you are releasing it!!!! When should I expect it for my Epic!?!?!?!?!?

Vick: There is on specific release date for the update. Should this become available, it will be posted on our website in the Samsung Download Center.

Visitor: *knock knock*

Visitor: No wait, no should it become available.

Visitor: You just promised me I'd be able to Vick.

Visitor: Now you're sounding sketchy

Vick: Yes. You may install the update when it is released.

Visitor: So you're promising me with all certainty that you will roll out 2.3 for the Epic?

Visitor: And if I have to call Mr Sansungasaki he can vouch for this......

Visitor: Pinky promise me it will be released Vick.

Visitor: Pinky promise me for all the hungry kids in Ethipoia.

Vick: I'm sorry. I see that the update might be released to install and use on your phone.

Visitor: We just went from will be to might be.

Visitor: Vick you're tryin to circle jerk me here....

Visitor: I even offered to bake you a cookie.

Vick: As referred earlier, as of now there is no official information on the release date of the Android 2.3/Gingerbread from Samsung.

Visitor: But you just told me I will be able to enjoy the awesomesauce features, and now you're being an indian giver.

Vick: I apologize for the confusion. We are unable to speculate when/if a software revision might be available due to the fact that this might lead to inaccurate information and confusion.

Visitor: Vick, I hate you now. You've broken my heart, and I take back my offer on the cookie.

Vick: I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.

Vick: Please accept my sincere apologizes, I would have surely helped you if I had the information.

Visitor: You've broken my heart. How do you plan on fixing that?????

Visitor: Is this how you treat everyone? Get their hopes up, then shove them away?

Vick: I'm sorry. Do you have any technical questions for me?

Visitor: Yes, can I have your girlfriend in exchange for the Gingerbread update?

Visitor: That would be a fair trade.

 Chat session has been terminated by the Samsung Agent.