Weekend Wrap-Up (sorta?), Rants, and Ass

Ok, so I haven't honestly done much of shit this weekend.  When Friday afternoon hit, I had fully intended on being productive and even made myself a small list of shit I wanted to get done.  I thought if I somewhat planned ahead, I would give myself the proper motivation to get shit done.

Not so much....

I woke up Saturday around 10:30 AM.  Sadly this is actually sleeping in by the standards I have now with the new day job.  I'm actually happy when I wake up at this time, although it's still technically morning.

So I get up, slightly hungry, and still not able to make coffee because the fucking coffee maker is broken.  God damn handle busted and I keep forgetting to replace it.  This isn't a major urgency since I get majority of my coffee at work anyways.  Anyways, random idea hits me.  Kolaches...not just any kolaches, but those from Little Czech Bakery out in West.

This place is fucking amazing and worth the 30 or so minute drive out of town.  So needless to say I hit the road, and came back with 2 boxes full of various bakery goodness.

After that it was pretty much sitting around the house doing nothing till sometime after 2 or so, then I took a nap until like 8.  Pretty sad I know, but in my defense...it was an awesome nap.

I wanted to do some writing on +OMG!Droid but we've still been fighting with those bitches at Go Daddy trying to get the site restored after the security breach and data deletion, so that was out.  For the record, those guys have the worst fucking customer service of any host I've ever worked with (including some bottom-feeding cheap assholes that you get nothing with) and charged us $150 for them to restore the data off their backups.  Fucking serious?  Needless to say, we're switching our hosting pretty soon.

So yeah, Saturday was a waste.  The highlight of the day was watching Bellator MMA we had saved on the DVR, then UFC on Fox.

I did manage to run laundry today though, and got some of the dishes done.  Hell I even went to the grocery store, so I guess today was catch-up day for everything.  I even remembered to finally pick up a wireless mouse and keyboard for my desktop since I have it hooked up to my TV.  And yes, interwebz porn looks fucking amazing on a 1080p 37" TV.  Now I just have to finish all these damn Windows updates.

Speaking of Windows....quick /rant.
I know the gadgets were never a hugely popular feature in Windows 7.  I do sometimes use a couple of them, mainly on my laptop to keep an eye on the CPU and memory usage.  Recently I ran a  fresh install of 7 back on it and decided to put the gadgets back on.  Upon going to the gallery page to find the ones I use, I'm greeted with this big Fuck You.

What kind of bullshit is this?????  I realize that Windows 8 is your new baby you just rolled out, but fuck come on!!!  There aren't enough people even using Win8 to warrant dumping the gallery all together, much less enough people who would willingly subject themselves to that fucking piece of shit UI.  I tried it on the beta, and it's garbage for an actual computer.  So now I have to search 3rd party sites for any descent gadgets just to get the 2 I want.  It's fine if you're going to stop development or posting of new gadgets, completely understandable.  But to dump them completely?  Thanks you evil fucking cockwhores.
/endrant

Oh, and I got a new lap table fucking thing to use for my laptop when I'm laying in bed, or to use the new mouse and keyboard set I just picked up.  Yes, this makes me happy.

I know, the mattress has a stupid pattern on it as most do.  Again, I'm actually doing laundry today, and those are in the washer at the moment.

And one last thing before I go to brighten everyone's day.  Here's a couple of pics of ass...courtesy of +Colie Jacks  (Twitter).  You're fucking welcome.  I forgot to actually ask in advance if she minded me sharing, but I think it'll be ok.  I'm going to go fap now....

Just saw this from a hangout with @MoonshineBnanza

I have no words for the things that can happen in the Hangouts on Air....

Where Have I Been?

So I haven't been around to post anything since the beginning of November.  It's been a rather interesting time for me, so I was kind of zoned out for the most part.  The joys of trying to figure out what to do with life...

If you recall the last post, I got to do another episode of Rootz Live.  Little did I know that the guys over at RootzWiki would shut the whole thing down after--for reasons I don't know the details of--and that would be the final episode.  That was my 2nd time to be on the show, and both times have been a blast.  I know I'm way late in saying this, but I want to thank Scotty Brown for inviting me onto what turned out to be such a historic show.

So as most of you know, I was unemployed for a short while.  I assure you this wasn't by choice, despite how unhappy I was working at Sprint.  It's not my style to leave one employer before having another job lined up.  One thing I learned about working in account services in the site I was at, is that upper management doesn't give a shit about tenure and all the work and sacrifice you've given a company.  Nor do they care about fully confirming something happened--or exactly what happened--before they kick you out the door.  The interim sup we had at the time who had issues with me reported me for supposedly cursing while on the floor.

• This didn't happen
• She cussed all the time

The funniest part is they don't know exactly what I supposedly said.  It was always did I say shit or fuck?  If you're going to fire me for supposedly saying something I shouldn't have, shouldn't you know what I said?  Apparently not, as they terminated me and I lost the appeal.  So there went 3.5 years of employment, and the first time I've ever been fired from a job.  So I got a one month location, and the Texas Workforce Commission agreed that me termination wasn't by my fault or improper conduct.  That doesn't give me my job back, but Sprint was stuck paying me unemployment benefits.

Despite that, I was only down for a month and found another good job.  It's local so no 60 miles of daily driving for work, and these guys actually give a shit about their employees.  They even pay for the coffee, and it's not the cheap shit.  I'm in love, and I'll never leave.  I work mornings, weekends off, and everyone is pretty cool.

And being unemployed, I decided to grow a nice beard since I didn't need to shave anymore.  I'm happy with this.

And yes, it's a perk to not have upper management walking around daily reminding you that they're over-staffed and looking for ways to fire people.  I can't make that shit up.

Kevin and I also started doing the podcast again as of last weekend.  It was a bit of a slow start considering the vacation we took and some equipment issues, but it picked up quickly and stayed true to our expected level of humor.  You can download the newest episode here.  I always start to talk myself out of doing the show the day of, but once we get in the studio and hit record it's always like home.  I don't know why I always try to psych myself out each time.

So yeah, the time away certainly hasn't been eventful, and I want to thank everyone who during that time kept checking up on me when they realized I wasn't around much on Google+ or Twitter.  The whole getting canned thing really fucked me up in the head, along with running low on job options.  I was starting to wonder how I would get shit back to normal as I hate not working.  Much respect to everyone, and you'll see me back around in my normal capacity.

But for now it's time to pop an Ambien, get loopy, and pass the fuck out for work tomorrow.  Apparently Moonshine Bonanza is drunk and live on YouTube, so I might make a stop there first.  She's all hot and nerdy.

New Show, the Amazing Anus Pig, and the End of 2012

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Well we took a good bit of time off to deal with real life, and after an outcry from people we're finally back around with a  new show.

It's amazing how a little time off can make us more offensive than ever.

We went in and completely winged it for this episode as we had plenty to catch up on with this one.  I love how the random shit works out with material that is a winner.

And as promised, we have pics of the horrible ring that Jennie's ex gave his new fiancee.  It's amazing what someone will accept when they're desperate to get a free ride.

If a man tries to propose and this is the ring he give, kill yourself if you even consider saying yes.

And let's not forget the art of re-gifting, and the horrible gift Nick got with Anus Pig!!  It's ugly, it's bedazzled, and what is supposedly a curly tail that looks more like a swollen anus.  It's hideous.

What is honestly more disturbing - someone giving this as an honest gift, or giving it to someone else as a gift?

2013 will only get worse, and Keyan has learned not to demand a shout out from us on the show lol.

Nick Appears Again on RootzLive!

So this whole being unexpectedly unemployed has one perk, it got me a 2nd time doing RootzLive! which is an awesome show to be on.  Scotty Brown has asked me a few times since the episode with the OMG!Droid crew to come on again, but working the late shift with my now previous employer obviously complicated that.

But yeah, schedule cleared up and I got to go on with Adam Fisch from AOKP and talk about the new line of Nexus devices coming out.  One request...can we next time NOT put me on WITH A FUCKING DEV.  Holy shit do you know how stressful to go on and talking devices with one of those dudes and hold your ground, especially one from AOKP?  Kudos to those guys, as they do a hell of a job with that ROM.  

All in all, it went well and I sounded like I had half a clue as to what I was talking about.  Fuck yeah!

Next time can we cover something easy to lighten the stress on me?  Thanks guys!

Life Lessons Learned the Hard Way...

Let me start off by saying my nephew Victor isn't the brightest kid at times, and he tends to learn lessons the hard way of shit he should or shouldn't do.  Two of those lessons being don't lie, and don't steal shit from other people.  But, he's only 7, so you have to allow some wiggle room for total stupidity due to age in those situations.

Stealing shit obviously is bad.  You get in trouble, possibly go to jail, or just get your ass kicked.  He doesn't comprehend the severity of the situation when he does it, and thinks he can talk himself out of trouble.

That leads us to the lying part.  Again, he's only 7, so despite any ideas he may conjure up in that brain of his, 99% of the time it fails horribly.  And yes, it's funny as hell to see a 7 year old try to lie his way out of shit, and when his ADD kicks in he changes his story 2 or 3 times within 5 minutes because he forgot wtf the original story was.  I'm sure he tries valiantly to work up a good exit plan in his head in progress.

Example:
He stole a dollar from some kid in the neighborhood.  Instead of hiding it when he got home, he has it out and is questioned on it since no one here gave him said dollar.  He tried as hard as he could to talk his way out of it, but again, consistency is key here.  It started from the kid across the street gave him the dollar to be his friend, then he gave it to him for a completely unknown reason, to he found it in the middle of the street.  Yes, we just went from an actual person gave it to him, to the concrete gave it to him.  To his credit, when he tries to explain all this, you can see the wheels spinning as he tries to adapt on the fly to any inquiry that may come up.  It just doesn't work so well.

So yesterday he comes home from school and my roommate Kevin (Vic's dad) goes to unlock the door and let him in.  As soon as the kid steps foot in the door, he immediately sinks his head down and starts in with "I hate myself for getting in trouble, I hate my life."  Now any normal adult may immediately ask what happened, what's wrong, and other concerning things of that nature.  Me?  No.  I immediately bust out laughing at the sight of a kid doing this.  I could care less what the reason is.

It turns out Kevin was a bit more privy to the circumstances of what occurred earlier in the day leading to this than I was.  It turns out Vic was in the cafeteria at school, and decided to take some bacon off another kids plate.  The kid told him to stop, and Vic kept doing it.  POW!!  The kid punches him right in the face, bloody nose and all.

The kid straight out put the Rihanna to Vic to his ass to defend his pork prize.

I immediately start laughing again while he's standing there head still down and pouting over his defeat.  Kevin is trying not to laugh while watching this scene, so he turns his head away and sees me laughing.  Plan failed, he's laughing too.  Vic is still pouting and looking pathetic.

Circle back to the lying part.  Of course since there's a fight, or punch thrown in this case, Vic is in the principle's office and Kevin is called where he's filled in on the situation.  Now again, being a stupid kid, he can't just tell the truth and quickly get the problem over with.  He tries to work his way out of it, changes the story around a few times because he can't keep track of himself, and screws it all up.  What really clinched his defeat in the middle of his epic story telling is when the principle called him out on the story and reminded him that she can easily pull the video tape of the cafeteria to see what really happened.  Vic gives in, and the truth comes out.  The smoke pouring from his ears from frantic thoughts was all for not.

Vic is still pouting because he got caught and got punched in the face, and I'm crying from laughing so hard.  Vic tends to be a dick at school for reasons I don't always know, but this is the first time a kid actually popped him for being an asshole.

Some people without common sense may think getting punched is a bit drastic, but we are talking about bacon here.  It's the sacred food of foods, and honestly if 4 or 5 kids had kicked his ass I would have overlooked it.

There's two lessons in life that are absolutely critical:
1)  Never fuck another man's woman
2)  Never fuck with another man's bacon

Episode 39: Fetish Acts and Nick's Humility

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So a while back I had a random idea while talking to my friends Fetish Jade and Mistress Cassandra about coming on the show sometime.  Yes, you read those names right.  They're dominatrixes, and it's pretty awesome.

So nothing came out of it for a while due to scheduling, and last week Cassandra hits me up and says the're both free to do the show this weekend.  Fuck yes!

So we ended up getting more of an in depth look into being a dominatrix than I could of imagine, and the fucked up things that people can get into.  And Nick is in a ton of trouble when Jade comes through Texas in a couple of months.

Catch them both on Twitter with the links below, and make sure to check out Jade's website here.
Fetish Jade
Mistress