Where Have I Been?

So I haven't been around to post anything since the beginning of November.  It's been a rather interesting time for me, so I was kind of zoned out for the most part.  The joys of trying to figure out what to do with life...

If you recall the last post, I got to do another episode of Rootz Live.  Little did I know that the guys over at RootzWiki would shut the whole thing down after--for reasons I don't know the details of--and that would be the final episode.  That was my 2nd time to be on the show, and both times have been a blast.  I know I'm way late in saying this, but I want to thank Scotty Brown for inviting me onto what turned out to be such a historic show.

So as most of you know, I was unemployed for a short while.  I assure you this wasn't by choice, despite how unhappy I was working at Sprint.  It's not my style to leave one employer before having another job lined up.  One thing I learned about working in account services in the site I was at, is that upper management doesn't give a shit about tenure and all the work and sacrifice you've given a company.  Nor do they care about fully confirming something happened--or exactly what happened--before they kick you out the door.  The interim sup we had at the time who had issues with me reported me for supposedly cursing while on the floor.

• This didn't happen
• She cussed all the time

The funniest part is they don't know exactly what I supposedly said.  It was always did I say shit or fuck?  If you're going to fire me for supposedly saying something I shouldn't have, shouldn't you know what I said?  Apparently not, as they terminated me and I lost the appeal.  So there went 3.5 years of employment, and the first time I've ever been fired from a job.  So I got a one month location, and the Texas Workforce Commission agreed that me termination wasn't by my fault or improper conduct.  That doesn't give me my job back, but Sprint was stuck paying me unemployment benefits.

Despite that, I was only down for a month and found another good job.  It's local so no 60 miles of daily driving for work, and these guys actually give a shit about their employees.  They even pay for the coffee, and it's not the cheap shit.  I'm in love, and I'll never leave.  I work mornings, weekends off, and everyone is pretty cool.

And being unemployed, I decided to grow a nice beard since I didn't need to shave anymore.  I'm happy with this.

And yes, it's a perk to not have upper management walking around daily reminding you that they're over-staffed and looking for ways to fire people.  I can't make that shit up.

Kevin and I also started doing the podcast again as of last weekend.  It was a bit of a slow start considering the vacation we took and some equipment issues, but it picked up quickly and stayed true to our expected level of humor.  You can download the newest episode here.  I always start to talk myself out of doing the show the day of, but once we get in the studio and hit record it's always like home.  I don't know why I always try to psych myself out each time.

So yeah, the time away certainly hasn't been eventful, and I want to thank everyone who during that time kept checking up on me when they realized I wasn't around much on Google+ or Twitter.  The whole getting canned thing really fucked me up in the head, along with running low on job options.  I was starting to wonder how I would get shit back to normal as I hate not working.  Much respect to everyone, and you'll see me back around in my normal capacity.

But for now it's time to pop an Ambien, get loopy, and pass the fuck out for work tomorrow.  Apparently Moonshine Bonanza is drunk and live on YouTube, so I might make a stop there first.  She's all hot and nerdy.

New Show, the Amazing Anus Pig, and the End of 2012

Download

Well we took a good bit of time off to deal with real life, and after an outcry from people we're finally back around with a  new show.

It's amazing how a little time off can make us more offensive than ever.

We went in and completely winged it for this episode as we had plenty to catch up on with this one.  I love how the random shit works out with material that is a winner.

And as promised, we have pics of the horrible ring that Jennie's ex gave his new fiancee.  It's amazing what someone will accept when they're desperate to get a free ride.

If a man tries to propose and this is the ring he give, kill yourself if you even consider saying yes.

And let's not forget the art of re-gifting, and the horrible gift Nick got with Anus Pig!!  It's ugly, it's bedazzled, and what is supposedly a curly tail that looks more like a swollen anus.  It's hideous.

What is honestly more disturbing - someone giving this as an honest gift, or giving it to someone else as a gift?

2013 will only get worse, and Keyan has learned not to demand a shout out from us on the show lol.

Not to Brag or Anything....

But yeah, this is my phone. And it is pure awesome. #fistpump

I Work Really Hard

I've come to the realization that I work way too hard. Now this isn't the normal thought most may have. What I mean is when I go to work, I work extremely hard to not do my job, as opposed to doing anything productive at all. The first thing I do when I get in is fire up my computer and try to figure out the first thing I want to do besides actual work. It really doesn't take any kind of effort to listen to people call in and bitch about this or that about their cell phones. And in all honesty, I could really give a fuck less anyways. Do I feel any remorse for them, or lose sleep? Fuck no! Hell I even caught myself staring at the ceiling counting tiles with someone rambling in my ear for 5 minutes about something. I really can't remember what they were even talking about. I just kept on with the normal "yeah...uh huh.....right.....oh my" standard bullshit to make them feel like their being listened to, and to some level perhaps even appreciated. The photo to the left was that exact moment today. And for the record, I counted 63 today.
So what do I actually do each day? Well, I spend a good part of the day playing on Twitter. It passes the time, and keeps me rather amused through the entire day. During this time, I make sure to put in time on either test messages or BlackBerry Messenger maintaining the regular lines of communication. Morning conversations usually consist of chats with @EricsTXGal trying to help her with killing her co-workers, or at least getting them fired. Here recently I even managed to be somewhat famous by fucking up @Candice_Jo's video blogs (completely unintentionally of course). Much appreciation on the plugs I got from her, instead of her threatening to kill me. Make sure to check out her blog here. This usually carries me into lunch, that sacred half way mark of the day.
Lunch is an interesting phenomenon all in it's own, as it's where I've realized that one...Chic-Fil-A employees either enjoy their fucking jobs way too much for minimum wage, or they're all high as fuck. I'm honestly going to vote for option 2, and I don't see how anyone could be content shoveling waffle fries as a career builder for less money than you could make on welfare rockin the government cheese. I'm willing to bet there's a shitload of X and lesbian orgies behind those doors to the back.
Lunchtime has also lead me to realize that old people are stalking me, and want to kill me. I haven't completely figured out why yet. Perhaps being the innovator of ignorance is working against me this time. It is entirely possible. I first thought it off when I went to Whataburger for lunch one day. They often flock there in the mornings for their coffee time, but never at noon. That's nap time, and you can't take that out of their routine. But there they were, and I realized I was the only one there under age 60 minus a couple of employees. I could feel them staring at me, and plotting my demise. Two days later I went to Taco Bell for lunch, which I assumed would be a safe location. They can't eat Taco Bell. Shit they can barely eat anything that doesn't come pre chewed in a jar. But there they were again, staring. Two of them tried to make their move on me when I finished eating, but my quick thinking saved the day. I pointed to the TV and said "Hey look.....it's the Wilford Brimley diabetes commercial!!" That bought me enough time to break the fuck outta there. I'm still planning my strike to retaliate. I will be avenged.
So lunch is over, and back to work. By this time I'm so hopped up on caffine to make it through the day I have a twitch at times and see those tracers in my eyes. Yes, I really am that caffine addicted. I still slowly plug away in the afternoons convincing people that zombies are real, and swineflu causes it. The easiest way I had to do it is when they changed the name to H1N1. Then I just worked it as the official "threat level" name the government uses when it became an obvious problem. I have 3 people now terrified to ever go to Mexico, and another who became a vegetarian over fear of bacon. I gotta give thanks to @thizgurl for helping me put the wheels into motion on that plan. Luckily afternoons pass pretty quickly as that's my mentally stimulating time of the day, and before I know it, it's time to go home to complete my day of raising hell on Twitter.

I Hate You Sprint

You get my hopes up with your promises of text messaging, mobile web browsing, smart phone technology, and a great customer experience....and then you crush them all!!

Is it too much to ask that I send or receive a fucking text message within a reasonable amount of time?? Here I am trying to relay messages to my Save the Children advocates, and you're killing me here. There are poor starving pot-bellied Ethiopian kids that I could be shipping Snickers bars to (for a tax write-off), and you're cutting off my communications and methods of doing so. They're starving.......poor kids.......you're starving them!! I'm trying to fulfill my duties as a fucking humanitarian here.

I can't even get the simplest pleasures in life like reading ESPN while I crap! What kind of monsters are you? How is a man supposed to survive with no bathroom reading material??? It completely eliminates the balance and tranquility that someone deserves.
Hey I know, I'll call someone instead! I don't actually call people that much anymore, as I seem to be akwardly addicted to texting now instead. I guess 4 years on the phones at that shithole of Dell burned me when it comes to hearing a human voice over a phone. Ok, so well the phone call thing was the idea I was working on, until I walk outside to try this undisturbed and realize I have no signal at all. WTF!?!?! I'm in the happy part of your coverage map. I've looked at it in person! How is it I stand outside in the middle of town and there isn't shit for bars?
Dammit I wish my service plan wasn't so cheap. I'm gonna beg the Verizon lady to try and hook me up tomorrow.